here's how it works.

Okay, for years I've been in the habit of recording funny shit on my phone. When friends [[ok, or myself]] say something hilarious, stupid, or otherwise amusing, it gets recorded on my cell phone & saved for future laughs.

In an effort to clear up memory on my phone, and naturally to share this funny shit with you, I'm going to post these quotes. (:

Here are some older quotes[[in order from oldest to most recent]]:

Hetro: I think the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.
Trent: I think the best part of waking up is morning wood.

Trent: You can say any song from like the 29s and he knows it.
Hetro: The 29s?
Trent: Yea, the period between the 28s and the 30s.

James: I don't care if you think it's queer. I like glow sticks and I like to twirl them around!!

James: I know you one thing, though...

James: Don't call me weird! You're not respecting my principles!!

Trent: I'm pretty shit.

Ron: This is a number you can't even think of yet. It's futuristic. It's so futuristic they ain't even created it yet... it's eight.

May: Fish taco is SO provocative!

Trent: My eyes are like asphyxiated on the road.
[[11.30.2009]]

Trent: Can you trade me menu maps?
[[12.04.2009]]

Amber: I had to get patience and strength tattooed on my wrists because I couldn't find the shoes I wanted at Payless.
[[12.06.2009]]

Trent: But I'm in my snuggie, snuggie-in.

Hetro: Tell me if I lay on something weird.
Trent: Um, I think you're laying on my sternum.
Hetro: I don't even know what that is.
Trent: I don't either, but I know it's a part of your body.

Trent: I'm going to like pressure wash the toilet!
[[01.02.2010, Trent's 21st birthday]]

Trent: You are bedstone and I am fucking futuristic!
B: No, you're bedrock.
[[01.02.2010]]

Trent: I have a phobia of opening the cans, yes. Opening the cans and you know, the lid comes out and it's all sharp and it's like "hi, I'm gonna slit your finger the fuck off!" like what the fuck, you know what I mean?! I'm just saying. I don't fucking like to open these cans. I don't like to open cans period. Fuck them shits. I've been cut by one, that shit is serious, it is not a joke. It is not Hollywood effect. That shit really cuts you. Kudos to them niggas in Hollywood, you made that shit look real as fuck, I want you niggas to know that shit, whoever listens to this cuz that's the truth man, so can you just Freddy Krueger this muthafuckin can open?
[[01.29.2010]]

Trent: I have the answer to all our solutions.
[[02.11.2010]]

Emily: Does your face get numb?
Hetro: No, my face gets dumb.



BAHA. More to come :D